Thursday, December 09, 2004
Don't Believe the Hype
Whaddya know? I had post-journal-entry-remorse last night and this morning for writing about the "news" I heard about the musical group "Destiny's Child". I felt low because it felt like I was gossiping....guess I was, but I don't like gossip. Hypocritical, oxymoron, dichotomy? Whatever.
As I was driving my kids to school at 7 a.m. while listening to my eldest son's FAVORITE radio station...KIIS FM with Ryan Seacrest, they announced that Destiny's Child would be the live in-studio guest this morning. I thought, wow, how fortuitous that this would happen today! I will confirm that Michelle was kicked out of the group as I had posted last night. I patiently listened as I dropped off kids at one, two, three schools. I endured all of the commercial advertising so the radio station could "pay the bills". I endured Gwen Stefani's new, irritating, but catchy song, "What You Waiting For?"
Low and behold they arrive, and guess what?......They were three-strong. Michelle was there and was being Ms. ChittyChatty. THE HYPE LAST NIGHT WAS WRONG. Never again will I post rumors or gossip on this blog. It is a disservice to anyone who takes time out of their precious life to read my blabberings. So sorry.
I asked my friend and host of last night's birthday party if she had the chicken and waffles catered from Roscoe's. She said her two daughters cooked it. I was floored. I emailed her back and asked if she was an in-the-closet-gourmet-cook :-o) I know the answer is no because she has shared that she doesn't cook much, outside of spaghetti, or eggs and waffles. She's on the road touring quite frequently and has staff to take care of that. Nice fantasy for me. Someone to cook the meals, pack the snacks and lunches for kids, wash the dishes, mop and vaccuum the floors, dust the house and blinds, clean out the toilet and scrub the tub. That's my idea of Fantasy Island. That would be heaven for me. I'm one of those who ignores those necessities for as long as I can, until I can stand it no more. Oh, sure, I teach my boys how to do much of it, but as any child, they would rather do something else. I always HATED doing house chores, but being the perfectionist/workaholic that I am, I learned how to do them from my mother and ALWAYS did a superb job. I used to love to make the toilet sparkle. I loved washing the dishes and stacking them perfectly in the drainer so that every dish and utensil fit perfectly and wouldn't fall off. I learned how to fold clothes patiently and perfectly. I was always better at that than my sister. In fact, maybe that's why we didn't and don't get along too well. I take alot of pride in my work. In everything I do, really, and I think that pisses her off. I figure, why do it if it's gonna be half-assed? I take that after my mother. Isn't it funny....no matter how poorly a daughter gets along with her mother, eventually she WILL turn into her mother in some form or fashion. No matter how much you strive to be different, you will always bare similarities to her. She is the one who taught you how to be a woman, even without verbally instructing you, you watched her your whole life. You have mannerisms like her, even if you think you don't. Interesting thing about life.
My dear friend and former co-worker Anne Hefley, the blog celebrity, emailed me back today. It was so good to hear from her. Last we saw each other she was going through a really tough time, and I was happy to be able to bring her on board at my company, however short a time she was there. She is funny, smart, pretty, and she's a tough cookie whether she realizes her own strength or not. I always think of her walking around in combat boots. I think she used to do kick boxing or something. Her blog has been written up in newspapers and nominated for blog awards. One critic/writer said that she is a talented writer and he could see her being a great novelist. Do you see that Annie? Is this an aspiration of yours? If this is a indeed a goal of yours, then take it by the reigns honey and hold on tight. Your writing is melodic, honest, and truly paints a picture. It has a visual quality to it. I do not consider myself a writer, but when I write grants for non-profit organizations, the Exec Director always compliments me and says it reads beautifully. I am happy to receive the compliment, but I guess because I don't consider myself a writer, it's hard to take the compliment. That's why this blog is going to be an important tool for me. It's like exercise for my writing skills. I just blabber on like I'm speaking, and it rolls out on the keyboard. Thank God I'm a fast typist. I have so much to say and so little time to write. Anne called me, "Miss Beautiful" in her email. That felt nice.
There is so much inside of me. I've endured much tragedy in my life, but always hanging on by my fingernails, I'm not one to rollover and die. When I find the courage to share some of these incidences every blue moon with a friend, I always say that what I went through was so horrible, but it's in my memory like a book that I once read. After reading the book, I closed it, and it's not a part of me anymore. That could just be denial, but I refuse to let past hurts dictate what my life is going to be. We are taught that people are a product of their environment. To a certain degree, I agree with this statement. However, one does not have to accept the cards that are dealt to them. We, as humans, have the ability to rise above our challenges and press forward. I recently read a quote from Malcolm X while doing research. He said, "You can blame a person for knocking you down but you can't blame that person if you refuse to get back up. . . . However much slave history taught us about the injustice and misery we as a people had suffered, it did not excuse us from assuming responsibility for ourselves and each other by altering its course." Quoted from: Journal of a Black Conservative by William L. Thomas, Jr. Two recording artists say something similar: Amel Larrieux sings, "I know you're down...but when you gon' get up? I see you're down...but when you gon' get up?" and Macy Gray sings, "Get up, get out, and do something. How can you make it if you never even try?"
My sorrows are fruitless, like dry withering vines if I do not learn from them, be fruitful, and help others from falling into the same traps I once did. Sometimes life can beat you down so badly, you feel like you cannot stand up, but it's at those times, if we can muster up every ounce of strength we have, even when we feel we have none, that we can rise to the occasion and become equal to the task. Man that was a mouthful. I couldn't type fast enough.
We Americans, at least those that were born and raised here, should have a goal of visiting a third world country early in life. We are so spoiled here. Well, maybe not spoiled, but definitely privileged. We have flowing, fairly clean water, fairly clean air, toilets, free education, publicly supported parks and recreation centers, freedom of speech and religion, civil rights, human rights. There is nothing we cannot achieve here if we truly are determined. My point is, if we step outside of our environment for just a moment and imagine ourselves in someone else's shoes, we would realize how truly blessed we are. Our day-to-day problems would seem so small compared to what someone else on the other side of the globe is going through. Whatever your views on HIV/AIDS are, consider this: in some countries, AIDS is the number one killer of women because they have no protection from rapists that do not wear condoms. They are violated in a violent physical sense from the act itself, but they are also robbed of quality of life and of ever achieving long-term goals they have established for themselves because of the disease that was inflicted upon them. Some women, even very young women, have to live in fear just to do daily errands, like going to the market. Something as simple as that can cause you to be vulnerable to an attack and alter your life forever....just for going to the market. Think about that the next time you feel like you just can't take what's happening to you in your life. There is always someone, somewhere, going through much more than you could ever imagine. If you do this, I promise you, you'll find the strength.
Peace. I'm all talked out.
- posted by Suzanne @ 8:48 PM
